Pregnancy, Child Birth And You!!

As much as we loveee the whole idea of a new life coming into our lives we don’t like things SIMPLE. I realized there are sooo many theories (some completely crazy!!) associated with pregnancy, child birth, cesarean, new borns etc. in India. Before I begin to share my opinions **DISCLAIMER** please note these are my and only my thoughts based on what I experienced and not meant to undermine or mock anyone’s beliefs (considering how things are these days, I don’t wanna “offend” any one😆)

So mine was a pretty straightforward, no complications kind of pregnancy (Thank God for that!) For some strange reason even before I took the pregnancy test I had feeling it was going to be positive and two days after was husband’s birthday so it saved me the trouble of getting him a gift😆 My birth announcement to him was a poem I had saved long time ago printed and framed (UP is kind of my all time favorite movie😍) 

After this we had our first trip to the doc in Dubai (my first ever to a gynae 😮) to do a blood test and confirm the news. I was one of the lucky few people to have a pretty smooth first trimester, No Nausea, No Vomiting, No cravings .. just a bit of tiredness and extreme hunger pangs (for the first time in life I realized what feeling hungry actually means) At this point I’d suggest stock up on fruits and nuts and healthier snacks as its easy to munch on junk when you wanna eat anything and everything you lay your eyes on. And eating for two is not true. You sure need a few extra calories cos your body is making a baby out of this food 😬 so make it count and don’t just gulp down empty calories and ghee laden food. Eat what you normally do, extra milk, fruits (excluding pineapple and papaya) nuts, yogurt, cucumber, carrots, prune juice (helps keep constipation at bay), protein rich food and also treat yourself from time to time 🍰 🍫 🍩🍪🍟. And be regular on your prenatal vitamins. Also try to maintain your normal routine as much as possible (unless advised otherwise by doctor or you are on bed rest) Offcourse you have to take precautions about not doing any strenuous activities, lifting weight etc. Ohh very important: get your thyroid levels checked if you have a history and if not still better to get them checked as pregnancy can throw it off a little. I used to be on thyroid medication for hypothyroid and for some weird reason I stopped it without consulting the doc. And later on had to go straight to 125 mcg from 25 mcg to adjust the levels. Thyroid hormone plays a very very important role in conceiving and growth of fetus and its best to monitor the levels regularly. 

I came to India in my 7th month for a traditional baby shower ceremony. Flying requires you to get a consent letter from your doctor and if their are no other complications it’s considered safe to fly upto 29-30weeks (every airline has different limits so best to check). I already had met with a doctor in India in a small trip I made in between and was yet to finalize the hospital. Now I always had a terrible mental image of gynecologists for some reason and was terrified of them lol.. But I defied two rules and thankfully both worked out great for me. I found it most comfortable to goto a doctor who was not much older than I am and I chose to go with a BRAND new hospital (which I wasn’t even sure would open in time for my delivery 😐). I know experience counts but I knew I wouldn’t be able to go to an “experienced” (read: old 👵🏻) doctor who couldn’t care less about how I felt. A few words exchanged beyond a doc-patient conversation can make a hugeee difference, which most of the older docs don’t do. You go, you sit, you speak, they say hmm, scribble down something and your out. I couldn’t do that. I needed to be comfortable with the person I was gonna trust my baby with. Since my doctor was young we could connect better on so many levels. She got me!! Also the hospital we finalized was under construction and scheduled to open right around my delivery. It was owned and managed by another young doctor and they took personal interest in making sure I had nothing to worry about and I was there responsibility henceforth. Many times I found myself second guessing my choice or just consult another doctor for an opinion because what if there is a complication, what if the staff is not fully trained, what if the hospital is not fully equipped etc etc. But my mind and heart was set. And I can now safely say that I wouldn’t have it any other way. Ohh btw baby V was the first born at the hospital 😁 so he was kinda a mini celebrity already .. haha! 

I emphasize on the doctors being young because for some reason we judge ones ability at a task with their age esp. in case of a doctor. Which is sort of unfair I feel. They were always available via whatsapp which is such a huge convenience when you are a young first time mom to be. You can communicate so much more easily and in total privacy and sometimes texts are just so much easier. Took time and interest in explaining everything going on to my mom in simple non-medical terms who always accompanied me for the checkups (I just use to be over prepared anyway – thank you google 😬) and most importantly eased my fear of the whole thing. 

That being said, my entire term I was pretty active and tried to do maintain my normal routine as much as possible. From 32 weeks onwards I started with lamaze and pregnancy yoga classes. I was surprised to see how difficult most of mums-to-be found a simple activity like sitting cross legged on the floor. And they were not even that far ahead in their pregnancy. I just feel in today’s times with our desk jobs and rushed meals and between all the backaches and cramped legs we have just forgotten the basics. Practice sitting on the floor cross legged traditional indian style from the very beginning for a few mints everyday and if you can till the very end (off course with your docs or yoga instructors permission). It helps loosen the pelvis and also with backache. Also light walking everyday is good. The aasanas are customized as each pregnancy is different so I wont go in too many details here. The breathing exercises, well I didn’t remember anything during actual labor lol but I am sure are helpful. 

Couple of days before I actually went into labor I felt some braxton hicks (false contractions) in a movie theater 😳. Haha would have been pretty dramatic if I was going in actual labor but with slight walking and moving around they passed. And you know its not true labor when the contractions don’t increase in intensity with time. After I lost my mucus plug at home at around 39 weeks and 4 days and being super emotional and anxious that entire day I knew it was happening. IT WAS TIME!! I timed the contractions and when they were a minute apart and lasted 40-45 seconds we headed to the hospital. 

My hospital bag was ready for weeks and consisted of:

• Hot water bag (electric is easier) 
• Slippers 
• Sanitary napkins and 6-7 large size underwears
• Loose PJ’s, camis and shrugs (I wanted to get out of the hospital gown asap) the camis and shrug cover up quick for visitors and easy to manage for breastfeeding 
• Toiletries with loads of hair conditioner (trust me your hair will be in a super entangled mess) 
• Facewash, light makeup (I just had this weird fetish to put on red lipstick 💄 in the later stages of my pregnancy and post delivery). A very interesting article by twinkle khanna explained why 😊 
• Electric water kettle 
• Camera, charger etc.
• Duphalac or any other stool softener 

For the baby: 

• A muslin blanket, hat and outfit (his very first)
• Diapers, nappies (langots), plastic mats
• Depending on the weather: warm clothes, blanket, mittens, button down shirts to leave the umbelical cord stump undisturberd
• Soft napkins for spitups, cleaning the baby etc. 
• Infant Formula as it may take some time for your milk to come in
• Going home outfit 

After being in labor for 7-8 hrs I wasn’t dialating enough and their were signs of fetal distress so we made a quick decision to go for an emergency C-sec. 25 mins later my little baby 🐵 had arrived winning the title of being hospital’s first 😬. Things are quite hazy after this .. lol! Only thing that sucked about the surgery was not being able to hold my baby the same day as the effect of anesthesia lasts quite long and I was pretty much paralyzed waist down till next morning and also the stiches are fresh. After 2 days they make you get up (arghh!!  first time is the worst) and take a little walk and then slowly steadily it gets better. You just need to keep a positive attitude and loads of courage cos coming few days the hormones are gonna play some crazy games on you. More than anything just enjoy the feeling of being a new mum. 

Now a very popular belief in India is to cover the new mommy up completely head to toe despite being 40 degrees (I delivered in April) outside with no fan or god forbid you mention AC. I didn’t do any of it. While in hospital we maintained a comfortable temperature in the room and to everyones horror I washed my hair 2 days after my C-sec (off course speak to the doctor first). A warm bath washed away half of the tiredness and pain your body is in. 

Post delivery recovery: 

Every household has different post delivery customs/rituals/rules I guess and honestly I found most of them to be uncomfortable and too hard on an already exhausted and emotionally drained new mum. The point should be to be happy and enjoy the baby along with taking care of yourself to a healthy recovery (once again basic biology.. its all hormones!!) But when things are forced on you I feel it would only just delay the whole process. Often times we forget the emotional part of it and only concentrate on physical recovery. In my case, I just wanted to be happy and do everything that felt right but politely and with reasonable explanations refused things that didn’t fit in my head. And after 8 months I am happy to say that I bounced back just fine. I am not saying flatly refuse everything your elders tell you but if it doesn’t sit right with you do your research and make an informed decision. Post partem depression is very real and it can be pretty daunting when everyone is ready with their unsolicited advice for you and your baby. If you feel alone and not heard find someone you can share your feelings with. A friend, your husband, a family member.. anyone! 

Massage ladies play an important role in post partum recovery in India but often times the focus is more on the baby than the mum. In my opinion its needed more for the mother than the new born. I had a few rules I wanted her to stick to and she gladly complied instead of the usual reply “thats how its done, I know what I am doing”. We used coconut oil as it was pretty hot and didn’t use any products to bathe the baby for 2 weeks. Just light coconut oil and warm water. For me she did an amazing job with massaging the breasts and keeping the ducts unclogged which prevents mastitis (the first few days are extremely painful when you are engorged and highly recommend getting or doing a massage) and despite having a C-sec, with my doctor’s permission we did the belly belt minding the stiches after a week (cotton saree instead of the post partum belts) which made a hugeeee difference. Overall the massages are very relaxing on your really tired body. For the baby we continued till 1.5 months and took over ourselves. Its more of a bonding activity with the baby rather than the popular belief that it makes the bones stronger. Ohh and please don’t let the massage ladies do the whole turning the baby upside down and flinging in air thing 😱 It can result in some serious dislocated joints. Be firm on what you expect and if they cannot accommodate your wishes, say buh bye to them.

Another thing I failed to understand is the stigma associated with C- sections. I understand its a major surgery and any sort of medical intervention is best avoided but for some reason we tend to judge a woman who chooses to go for surgery or the doctor or hospital in case of emergency surgeries. If everything ends well, why this stigma (Like saying the C word with hushed tone 🙄) around it. It doesn’t make anyone less of a mother. Period!! We tend to give more importance to HOW the baby came into this world than to the fact that he/she and the mom are in good shape. 

Your diet plays a very important role and their are a lot if traditional food that is given to a new mom for energy, milk supply etc etc. Again I followed what felt right. Most of it is for your own well being and don’t worry about counting calories and getting back in shape. Breastfeeding consumes a lot of those calories so thats some good news 😃. Every body is different and takes it own time to bounce back so while make sure you have enough energy for two of you, don’t end up hogging just empty calories but more balanced meals and whenever the doctor gives a green light start working out.

Drink lots and lots and lots of water. BF dehydrates you. Try your best at staying hydrated and post delivery ask your doctor about using stool softener. The worst part about the whole thing for me was constipation that lead to hemorrhoids that lead to fissures. Arrghh it was a nightmare!! So consume easy to digest foods, drink plenty of water/fluids and since you can’t strain too much just use stool softener from the very start to avoid worsening the situation.

🤔 I guess I have covered most of the basic things. I just wanna end with a note saying its been an AMAZING eight months and Yes it needs a lot of adjustments, compromises and sacrifices on your part, multiple breakdowns, hissy fits and absolute exhaustion but if you are determined to enjoy motherhood its possible. And its the best way to go about it 🙂 

Xoxo